RHONJ 7 start with a ton of Zen and a Cool Yule

 

Hey Guys, We’re back for Season 7.

Hey guys… it’s me, Kath

And I’m RHO.

RHO:  And we’re so dang happy ta be heeah,  youz done know what convulsions i wuz havin without RHONJ.

KATH:  oh stop Rho.. and speak normally.  The transciprter isn’t gonna like that.

OK, so lets get right into it.  Kath, what did you like best about the show?

Kath:  I guess I can say it was when Teresa hugged her kids.

Rho:  Yeah, that broke my heart into a million pieces I gotta say.

Kath:  Well, now i don’t know if you want to discuss this but….let’s just say there’s a reason the situation resonates with you.

Rho:  Yeah, thank you for that Kath.. Now ixnay  okay

Kath:  Okay… Okay…  I thought…. oh nevermind

Rho:  So who didn’t you like?  (tossing her an easy question)

Kath: Jacqueline of course…. lol… what a fruitcake… still overplaying her role.  Her glee at being back on the show is palpable – and desperate.

Rho:  you wuz crackin  me up when we wuz watching – and you were singing  “dont cry for me argentina…”

Kath:  I know.. but she can really put on the drama.  Oh and are you surprised that..

::::rho puts hand up::::::

Rho:  Kath we’re not going there!..  If we gots nuthin nice ta say about the kids… we say nothin.  Marone!  We agreed to that WAYYYY back in S3.

Kath:  Well, no Rho we decided that the minor children who weren’t old enough to make their own decision to be on the show would be protected by us..

Rho:  Meh…. point taken.  OK. But lets not this time. k?

Kath:  No problem – who cares about ashleeeee anyway

Rho:  exactly!     So who gets the crap edit this season?

Kath:  Melissa

Rho:  wow! quickest answer you had since Sister Mary Joseph ax’ed u who gave u the gum and u said it was me.  haha   But really, Melissa?  Why?

Kath:  Its her turn.  ya know.

Rho:  oh stop grinning ur just happy they’re gonna dog her right after i started to like her more.

Kath:  OK Stupidest moment?

Rho:  EASY!!!!  When Melissa and Jax are having their “summit” about the visiting list.  These chicks thinking they can just get on a visitors list to see Tre.. lolol..TOOO dumd 4 words.  I mean, Melissa would have the paps in tow and why would Jax even ax.  Also they can  have so many people on their list.  Between just their family alone its full.

Kath:  Yeah, i got the sense Joe Gorga only went once like to make juicy talk.. lol

Rho:  Funniest moment?

Kath:  when Juicy said, “Its like having five wives”… lol…referring to how hard the year has been.   Cos you could tell he adores his kids so much even when he’s sayin it.  Gawd.. i feel for him, donchya Rho?

Rho:  ::::deep breath::::::  I think Juicy will be fine inside.  I worry about the kids = they don’t know that daddy is a big man. I want to remind Milania “sweet girl, daddy is a dragon, remember?”  They don’t understand the TRUE sense of family and loyalty yet.  And I ache for Tre.

Kath: OK, last question, what was the most telling moment about the major story arc of the season.

Rho:  Hmmm.. good question.  I was surprised to see the cousins.  Mrone…. u know, the one w the husband who says she smells like fish and Rosie?  That threw me for a loop.  Unless they get tossed under the bus soon, they are god awful.  But… I like Sidd.

Kath:  Yeah… she’s cool.

Rho:  I gtta say I was so focused on Teresa and her homecoming (redux) I didn’t notice the new players.  I was so happy to see her hug her dad and mom.   Made me wanna tell her how lucky she was.. ya know?

Kath :::hands tissue to Rho:::::

Rho:  oh I’m fine.  I just feel like they’re lucky is all.  count your blessings.  Like Tre said, it don’t matteh how hard u work….its love that binds a family together.

Kath:   oh man! Can you imagine that first night with Juicy and Tre back together!!!

Rho:  OK.. im editing this here if you’re going to discuss Teresa’s sex life with Joe.  no no no.  Kath, What if Gia reads this?

Kath:  Rho, first of all.. lol… delusions much?    oh and I’ll bet we could talk about the stripper if u wanted.

Rho: :::yells like Tre”::::::: I never said she was a stripper.

haha

Well, thats all this time til next time.  Keep your computer locked on RHOCOMIX and all the REAL rho blogs.  And enjoy the week.

Hi, it’s me Rho

Hey guys… it’s me, Kath

RHO:  And we’re so dang happy ta be heeah,  youz done know what convulsions i wuz havin without RHONJ.

KATH:  oh stop Rho.. and speak normally.  The transciprter isn’t gonna like that.

OK, so lets get right into it.  Kath, what did you like best about the show?

Kath:  I guess I can say it was when Teresa hugged her kids.

Rho:  Yeah, that broke my heart into a million pieces I gotta say.

Kath:  Well, now i don’t know if you want to discuss this but….let’s just say there’s a reason the situation resonates with you.

Rho:  Yeah, thank you for that Kath.. Now ixnay  okay

Kath:  Okay… Okay…  I thought…. oh nevermind

Rho:  So who didn’t you like?  (tossing her an easy question)

Kath: Jacqueline of course…. lol… what a fruitcake… still overplaying her role.  Her glee at being back on the show is palpable – and desperate.

Rho:  you wuz crackin  me up when we wuz watching – and you were singing  “dont cry for me argentina…”

Kath:  I know.. but she can really put on the drama.  Oh and are you surprised that..

::::rho puts hand up::::::

Rho:  Kath we’re not going there!..  If we gots nuthin nice ta say about the kids… we say nothin.  Marone!  We agreed to that WAYYYY back in S3.

Kath:  Well, no Rho we decided that the minor children who weren’t old enough to make their own decision to be on the show would be protected by us..

Rho:  Meh…. point taken.  OK. But lets not this time. k?

Kath:  No problem – who cares about ashleeeee anyway

Rho:  exactly!     So who gets the crap edit this season?

Kath:  Melissa

Rho:  wow! quickest answer you had since Sister Mary Joseph ax’ed u who gave u the gum and u said it was me.  haha   But really, Melissa?  Why?

Kath:  Its her turn.  ya know.

Rho:  oh stop grinning ur just happy they’re gonna dog her right after i started to like her more.

Kath:  OK Stupidest moment?

Rho:  EASY!!!!  When Melissa and Jax are having their “summit” about the visiting list.  These chicks thinking they can just get on a visitors list to see Tre.. lolol..TOOO dumd 4 words.  I mean, Melissa would have the paps in tow and why would Jax even ax.  Also they can  have so many people on their list.  Between just their family alone its full.

Kath:  Yeah, i got the sense Joe Gorga only went once like to make juicy talk.. lol

Rho:  Funniest moment?

Kath:  when Juicy said, “Its like having five wives”… lol…referring to how hard the year has been.   Cos you could tell he adores his kids so much even when he’s sayin it.  Gawd.. i feel for him, donchya Rho?

Rho:  ::::deep breath::::::  I think Juicy will be fine inside.  I worry about the kids = they don’t know that daddy is a big man. I want to remind Milania “sweet girl, daddy is a dragon, remember?”  They don’t understand the TRUE sense of family and loyalty yet.  And I ache for Tre.

Kath: OK, last question, what was the most telling moment about the major story arc of the season.

Rho:  Hmmm.. good question.  I was surprised to see the cousins.  Mrone…. u know, the one w the husband who says she smells like fish and Rosie?  That threw me for a loop.  Unless they get tossed under the bus soon, they are god awful.  But… I like Sidd.

Kath:  Yeah… she’s cool.

Rho:  I gtta say I was so focused on Teresa and her homecoming (redux) I didn’t notice the new players.  I was so happy to see her hug her dad and mom.   Made me wanna tell her how lucky she was.. ya know?

Kath :::hands tissue to Rho:::::

Rho:  oh I’m fine.  I just feel like they’re lucky is all.  count your blessings.  Like Tre said, it don’t matteh how hard u work….its love that binds a family together.

Kath:   oh man! Can you imagine that first night with Juicy and Tre back together!!!

Rho:  OK.. im editing this here if you’re going to discuss Teresa’s sex life with Joe.  no no no.  Kath, What if Gia reads this?

Kath:  Rho, first of all.. lol… delusions much?    oh and I’ll bet we could talk about the stripper if u wanted.

Rho: :::yells like Tre”::::::: I never said she was a stripper.

haha

Well, thats all this time til next time.  Keep your computer locked on RHOCOMIX and all the REAL rho blogs.  And enjoy the week.

RHONJ Season 6 Brings A Whole New Pile…

of garbage… Oh I meant husbands. (I always make that same mistake).  This season we got a set of twins, her sister and a drama queen who knows no equal when it comes to bad acting.  But the laters husband is the real issue.  Because we don’t care how badly they act, but how badly they BEHAVE.

RHO:  Hey at least they live towns away from us.  Don’t you remembah when Jim said he couldn’t hang out with Joe Guidice because he was working with the Prosecution Office that was prosecuting the Guidice’s case?l

KATH:  Ya know, I do recall that Rho.  He said he could be on the prosecutions investigative team. But it turned out that although he passed the bar 11 years ago, today he is a scuzz-zats Mortgage lender.  He was just scared they would FB out abut his dirt.  Lol   He closed on the reunion that he’s going before the NJ Ethics Board and didn’t want to be “associating” with hardened criminals. haha.  But his Twitter behavior won’t hurt him?  This guy is botz.

RHO:  I know, the nerve of this guy!!!  I mean he worked for a mortgage bank.  HE WAS MAKING THE LOANS.  And his firm WAS being investigated.  Marone.  You just couldn’t make this stuff up.

KATH:  Thats why they call it semi-scripted now.  They only need to semi-stir the pot.

RHO:  <sigh>  Well, there you go guys.  Sorry we forgot to post these comix but the summer was a good one 😉

KATH:  Yeah…. and now we’ve got RHONJ’s “Teresa Checks In” (a.k.a. Teresa Goes to Jail) and the Ladies of London for which we brought on two new bloggers.  Speaking of which did you check in with them Rho?

RHO:  Yeah, I axed em if they had anything to post and they said they wanted to put together something funny and snarky – you know that was like our comix.

I told em they needed them to do something better than that… lol.   But I did tell them not to TRY to find a point of view but rather just watch the show and let it come to them.

KATH:  Ya know if they want to, we could write it for them and they could fix the grammah?

RHO: Thats a good suggestions, I’ll call em in the morning and suggest that.  As long as they leave Annabelle alone they’re going to be fine.

KATH:  (eyeroll)  SHOCKER!

RHO:  Well, Forwarned is forarmed.

Sonja Morgan Will Survive But Also a Name Dropper

We love Sonja Morgan.  But like everyone we have bosses. And our boss got very upset about something Sonja said.

We only wish Sonja the best but feel we have to post this forgotten comix.  We’re sorry Sonja – if nothing else, it’s a cautionary tale.  Manhattan is a SMALL ISLAND.

you know why Carole got upset.  Even I was “smh” when u called him John-John.  Please.

Just do you,  Sonja.  We love you more.

 

Sonja is a survivor.  She will be just fine.  xoxo

OMG! RHO FORGOT TO POST SOME COMIX ON RHONY S7

Dis gotta be Kath’s fault.  I mean, I nevah ferget. (except when I do). So here you go: A dollah short (like most of these ladies – and I use the term loosely) and a day late (hahahaha….like they ALLL pretend to be).

OK, so first up is the Ramonatic.  She’s had a tough season – I mean losing Mario must have been such a shock!!  I mean the guy practically had his own frickin color on the Empire State Building on the evenings he scored a chicklet, but his wife was clueless, right?   Tsk tsk….. Maybe Ramona should have been kinder to Luann about her marriage?

At the end of Season 7 Ramona had renewed herself once again…SHOCKER!! lol.  EVERY season (almost) Ramona goes through some sort of renewal attempting to make herself a better person.  Instead of just doing the world quietly.  Ramona truly believes all she needs to do is SAY she’s renewed, have a party and VIOLA!!  she’s renewed.

 

In a Totally Non-Stalkerish Kinda Way…

When I think Of Annabelle’s bond w/ Alexander McQ, I think of this Clash Song…. STAY FREE

This song was THE anthem for Ace & me knowing we were the coolest ‘kids’ in the city and the party followed wherever we went in our wake.  But I do give space to other duo’s who mirrored each other, loved each other and provided muse to evoke creativity.

<Shrug> Maybe I’m wrong, perhaps Annabelle hates The Clash, but hey, I’m dancing around so… Color me bothered.   Me Me Me DANCING Me!!!

#THECLASH

Tre Checks in Juicy Gets Schooled and Melissa Gets More Annoying

Oy! All I did was write a title and Kath is all up in arms!!  Hold on Guys I gotta give her the keyboard.

KATH:  I’m really sorry guys! We said we wasn’t gonna get all caught up in the drama.  So of course, Rho starts right there!

RHO: Kath, please calm down.  We can change the title if you want…. to break my heart.

KATH:  HAHA  I shoulda know you would add something like that!  No, it’s ok.  I did think she’s was a bit over the top as well so, it’s all good.

RHO:  OH YOU!!  You did that on purpose!!

KATH:  (crickets)

RHO:  OK, so before we get to tonight’s show, are you excited to see what Ivy & Diandra do for Ladies of London?

KATH:  Yeah, I really am.  I mean, it will be nice to hear another point of view, ya know?

RHO:  HAHA I know exactly what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking, “I hope these ladies get the stick outta their … and get the funny coming”.

KATH:  (crickets)

RHO:  Are you going to do that every time we speak?  Let me go get the wine, that will loosen up those fingers.

KATH;  Nope… aftah speakin’ with Diandra & Ivy, I realized you’ve been right all along.

RHO:  Right about what?  They don’t like Melissa either??

KATH:  HAHA!  see?  You said back when we stahted you wouldnt take sides, everyoner’s foibles were open for funny,etc. etc.

RHO:  And?

KATH:  AND!!!  You’ve been VERY rough on Melissa, Rho!  The girl is tryin ta be nice!!

RHO: (eye-fn-roll)  I cannot believe what I’m hearing!!  This girl was so phoney!  You know why Tre hasn’t given Melissa Permission to visit?  Cos she knows Melissa has green eyes and she WILL smuggle out tapes and pictures for the tabloids.

KATH:  oh right .. and that’s Tre’s job… haha.

RHO: (shrugs shoulders)

KATH: (crickets)

RHO:  Well this is as interesting as Diandra & Ivy. hehe.  Look, I hear what you’re saying.  What the viewers see and hear resonates though.  The edit is showing that Melissa is being left out for a reason.  They need to build some tension.

KATH:  Right.  So it’s either Bravo or it’s real.

RHO: Or it’s really Bravo.  At the end of the day this is a real family doing time.   Whatever anyone thinks of Joey or Tre – they’re going through a very tough time.  Even if some of it is scripted.  Right?

KATH:  True.  Hey, what was that whole thing with Rino’s and the guy who’d done time for bookmaking.

RHO:  Oh Marone!  Can you say scripted.  I almost thought Joe Guidice was gonna laugh.  And Joey Gorga axin “what’s low”

KATH & RHO:  HAHAHA   HAHAHAHAHAHAHA   <sigh>

KATH: Yeah.. you’re right, Rho.  I look at Gia and she looks so grown up!

RHO: oy! at 14 yrs old.  but u know if we posted pics we didn’t look too much different.

KATH:  And your favorite Milania is just as cute as can be.

RHO: I know.  She really is!!   And Audriana is 5 years old now!!!

KATH:  Oh sweet Audriana, born on air!  I’m so glad Dina is around to help out, ya know.

RHO:  haha!  You said it not me.  But look if we tawk much more the guys will be home growling hunger.  <sigh>

KATH: Yeah…. I betteh get cookin.

RHO:  Me too.  But next time we’ll discuss last season, ok?  I promise.  I mean someone HAS to know Dina was the center of all the garbage they tried to throw at Teresa.  And then did you see the daggers she threw at the reunion.  Just sayin’

KATH:  Well, no dagger here, sweet lady.  Gimme a hug…. Imma make it across the lawn without getting any mosquito bites.

RHO:  Nite Girl.  Fedd that man and get some sleep!!!

Sleep tite everyone out there in RHOCOMIX land.  Luv yaz large.

RHOCOMIX Adds New Bloggers Oh My!

Introducing Two New RHOCOMIX Bloggers: Ivy & Diandra for #LadiesofLondon

The dynamic duo sits on the porch to discuss the new additions to the blog team.  They’re very happy to say the least!

RHO: So’z Kath & I are sittin on the pawch having just watched Ladies of London.  I guess u cud b 2nd from the throne or 2,342nd and still be a lil bit cray.   We KNEW we had to blog about it.  But ya know, we’z not like dat.  So we went surchin’ 4 sum hoity-toity gurls who spent time in London.

We didn’t want gurls who lived in London now.  But had lived in London in the past and knew the culchah – ya know?  Like how Kath & I know the culchah (eyeroll) of Northern Jersey.

So we went on a surch.  Ya know… on the QT we axed around.  And we got vevvy lucky.

First we wanna say thank yaz all for writin’ in- an wantin’ ta share your thoughts on the cray town and these gorg, talented womenz.

It took a while but out of the many people who wrote us for the job – and we thank every one of you for writing – we chose two ladies who hail from LONDON!  They wuz both raised in London but mavvied American men.   I know, it’s like kismet! Right?   And FUNNY!!  Oh Marone…. These girls make me laugh.

Kath & I figured we cud laff with anyone, right?  We know all the tricks of the show and the production, etc.  We both love/hate Andy Cohen.  But then, we thought a bit mua and decided we wanna give readahs a true sense of the culchah of London, not just the funny – ya know?  Well, Ivy & Diandra will bring that in spades!

This way, when Carolyn Stansbury goes nut, Ivy & Diandra can explain it to us (like we don’t know it’s red light fever…haha) or when Annabelle sits around and lets the cameramen stand around Ivy & Diandra can explain it to us (she don’t give a stroons about cameras/no cameras…she does her job, but she’s too smaht ta let the producers get her all riled into drama).

Anywho….  Without further ado, lemme let em introduce themselves to ya.  

First lets hear from Ivy Higgen….

KATH (jumps up hysterically):  RHO, no last names, remembah!!!

RHO: You’re right Kath, so right.  My bad, Ivy.   So without foitha interruption – take it away Ivy!!

 

IVY: Right… well not being sure to what part of my life I should speak, I’ll speak in generalities.

My husband and I are bi-continental.  In London we live in St. Johns Wood but I was raised in South Kensington & The country.  I truly adore London.  I spent 20 years in advertising prior to retiring to raise my children.  I’m fortunate enough to be married to a man who’s remuneration* provides me ample time to indulge my hobbies and charities. Here in the States, we live quite near where Rho & Kath live.

RHO:  Marone!  We’z gonna need a dikshunerry to proof-read what they write.  I’m kidding.

KATH: (to herself: she’s not kidding)

*REMUNERATION: what he gets paid…. His bank. 

IVY:  Right…. Ok then.  Ladies of London became a guilty pleasure as we typically don’t watch shows of that sort in my home.

RHO: (To herself haha! sure Ms hoity toity….. u know you got ur Tivo set for every crap show out there)

IVY: Then I saw RHOCOMIX and thought it was so funny.  We heard they were seeking new writers for the London show so I sent in a quick piece to see if it could fit in with their pre-existing format.  I guess they liked it.

KATH: (holding eyes open with toothpicks says to self, damn, the show is very good.  Ivy is like going to the dentist).

RHO:  Well we thank you for that brief introduction Ivy.  I’m sure our readahs look forward to reading your Comix.   Diandra, how you doin’ ova thaya?  You wanna cup a cawfee?

N.B. Diandra’s flight arrived early this morning.  But she couldn’t sleep.  So you can imagine how tired she is now.

RHO: Diandra, do you feel up to telling our readers about yourself.  Ya want moaw watah or sumthin wit sugah ta wake ya up?

 

DIANDRA: Thank you, but I’m fine Rho.  Very nice of you to ask.   Firstly I must thank you and Kathleen for your warmth and generosity in sending a car for me this morning.

RHO: ‘s ain’t nuttin but a chicken wing…so ga’hed…

DIANDRA: Um… Right…. Cheers. I  was also raised in London.  I spent most of my adult years in fashion – so I did the European spots and then came to New York.  I met my husband here in New York and stayed here since.  After many year I finally came out with my own line of evening wear.  Blah Blah Blah…Currently, I’m expanding into undergarments to be worn specifically with my dresses.

I too consider the Ladies of London my one guilty pleasure.  And it really is quite charming. And I love London so very much.  My husband and I don’t own in London – we stay at an undisclosed location.  We travel to London roughly 4 times a year.

RHOCOMIX was a huge draw for me.  Because I love it’s cheeky fun.  Kath & hysterical yet demure and Rh has no edit button.  What could be better.  I sent in a quick comic I thought would embody each of the women on the show.  Lo and Behold it made someone laugh.  Because here we are.  And that’s me for the moment Ladies!

KATH:  So tell us more about  how you came to write about the show and submit samples to RHOCOMIX

DIANDRA:  I saw the mention on social media and figured I’d give it a whack.  I generally live tweet or IG during the show so I jotted down some thoughts to share with RHOCOMIX afterward.   I submitted two pieces and heard back from Rho in fairly short order.

Rho was very clever to have Ivy & I work together on a few pieces prior to making her final decision.  To see how we meshed, to see if our humor was complimentary and would make the readers

RHO:  So there you have it folks!!  Two new bloggers at RHOCOMIX!!. Oh and although we thot their knowledge on London would be their focus, they’ll also chime in on all the other Real Housewives Shows.

KATH: Rho, you may as well warn them now.

RHO:  About what?

KATH: (arching one eyebrow says aloud): who you’re faves are on the casts – not just who you like but those whom u see as “untouchable”.

RHO:  Oh ladies! Kath is exaggerating.  We all have our favorites.  But ok, so if you say anything bad about Annabelle on Ladies or Teresa on RHONJ expect it to be edited.  I’m kidding, I’m kidding!!

KATH: (to herself)   No she’s not

KATH:  ou are so funny, my BFF.  OK, it’s late – let’s all call it a night.

RHO: Quite right, Mate… hahaha

KATH:  EYEROLL

WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT (QUITE THE SNORE FEST IF YOU AX ME)  BUT I THINK THESE LADIES WILL RELAX AND GET IN THE SWING OF THINGS.

 

CLOSING NOTE WITH RHO:  Ok, so I felt I had to add that when Ivy and Diandra say they live close to Kath & I, they mean they’re not an ocean away.  lolol.  But It’s not like Kath & I live in the luxury they know.

Kath & me, we’z just regulah gurls, the two gurls you’ve known for yonks.  I doubt we will evah change…  Best Friends Forever….  Sleep tite guys.  And remember to give a big kiss to those u love – cos u know, u never know.

 

 

 

RHONJ SPECIAL REPORT: RHOCOMIX Found in cave (or was that a dumpster?)

I hope you haven’t forgotten those two funny Jersey girls who posted comix and wrote funny blogs about RHONJ.  Well RHOCOMIX, RHO and KATH are actually one person, me.

I Rarely come from behind the curtain, but wanted to explain why I stopped cartooning.  I COULDNT FIND ANY HUMOUR IN ANYONE GOING AWAY.  Unless you know of what I speak you can only guess on the tremendous burden this is on a family.

I think back on the reunion when an obviously intoxicated Jacqueline actually WISHED Joe ” The Dragon” Guidice would go away and I.am.still.flummoxed.

While I have no doubt Tre and Joe will come out of this nightmare just fine and the rest of their lives will be wonderful, nothing seemed funny or comix worthy.  So I stopped.

As a few of you know I was also dealing with an ill fam member.  They have now passed and received their wings.

So taking a rest from the comix came at a timely juncture in my life.

Then I noticed my dear friend famewhorgas stopped blogging and was concerned about her.  I read enough on the twitter sphere but didn’t have time as I was rebuilding a previously successful business.  Anywho…..

Oh! As an aside thank you Teresa Guidice for showing the viewing public a hard working woman just doing what she had to do.  When I found myself in need of the same positive headset, I borrowed a page from Teresa’s book.  Work hard…..and your dreams will come true.   Sounds so easy, right?   It is!   Teresa showed us that.

It got me thinking about the overlying story arc and individual story lines; the interactions between cast members and the lame dialogue used to progress their player-to-player storyline.  Considering all of this NONSENSE against the very real lives of these “cast members”  make the whole mishaghaz complete nonsense.

When you then add the draconian tenets of their bravo contracts into this milkshake of yuck no one can pretend to understand the level of damage left in the wake of every person involved in these shows.  Without regard for anyone’s business, reputation or ability to move forward after the show in a positive way makes Bravo producers vultures preying on weak minded women who want their 2 minutes of film time (cos that ain’t fame).

I know this isn’t new information for any of us. Teresa will soon be out and the RHONJ conversation will begin anew.  And I’ll continue to joke where word splicing is used, story lines are fabricated b/c they don’t  organically get filmed, and other issues of this nature.  I only hope that Teresa’s business continues to grow and ala Martha Stewart becomes a truly multi-media organization.  Oh and my second hope is that Milania remains the Minx I love and Gia continues to blossom into a poised intelligent young lady.

Ok… So enough with the serious.

I’m sure RHO is getting her hair teased and using enough ell-Nette to widen the hole in the ozone, while KATH paints her two and a half inch nails her trademark baby pink candy.  Oh yes, those two bff’s from the garden state promise to be here to make you laugh at all things R.H.O.   In the meantime, I’ll take my leave and get back behind my curtain.  But not befor giving air kisses to all my favorite fellow bloggers.   Love yaz…  Muah muah muah.

Oh and a quick shout out to Joe Guidice.  Continue to love your wife and kids; continue to be the Dragon we’ve grown to love and care about.

RHONJ Takes Out the Garbage! And The Tri-State Cheers

Oy!   I cannot contain my joy!  No more Manzo/Laurita nonsense.  They truly should thank The Lord.  Their dismissal came just in time for their legal troubles to become front page news.  Well, well, well The Lord works in strange and mysterious ways.

KATH: Rho, first please stop taking the Lord’s name in vain.  It’s not nice.  I’m happy too.  That whole bag of larceny is gone gone gone.

RHO: Yes!  And now we have a whole new bunch of potential felons to meet!  Oh be still my RHONJ loving heart!

KATH: Well, let’s be honest, your Tre loving heart.

RHO: oh quibble quibble…lol

KATH:  Look I’m just as happy as youz.  So how are we gonna introduce the cast for season 6?

RHO:  randomly, just like we do everything…  Haha.

KATH:  oy

so first up.. We have a returning favorite.  We’ve waited too many seasons…

image

welcome back dina!   We can’t wait to see you!!

 

 

RHO Truly The Mental Asylum That Keeps On Giving!

So here we are, just  another lovely day of cray cray in RHO land.   I’ve always enjoyed the girls of ATL, but prefer RHONJ and only have so many hours to lose brain cells (and only a few brain cells left to spare).  So I’ve never blogged on RHOA.  My defense:  never has such stupidity reigned.  Nene preached when she said to Kenya “you’re up here making a fool for the $2.50 they’re paying you”.

I mean… Let’s face it – the former Miss US-whocares won’t be called to open any car washes or supermarkets with this kind of behavior.

 

Can u imagine? Kath & Rho don’t agree on RHONY!!

It’s been a while and I’ve missed you all so much.  I just could not watch this past season of RHONJ.   The silly banal plots and subplots.  The contrived setups.  Just the whole ball of wax, Kathleen & me needed to get away.  So we did. But cha know how it is, Kath & I get to tawkin’ and now we find we don’t agree AT ALL on the cast of RHONY!!   So i sez, let’s take it to the peeps.  She said she don’t wanna cos she still feels horrible about totaling my car a year ago and she’s embarrassed.  She thinks u all are gonna gang up on her.  Oy vey….  Who does she think she is?  I told her no one cared about that nonsense. I mean, every reader knows Rho don’t hold a grudge.  (Fingers crossed).  Ok well maybe i do, but not against my bff Kathleen.  Its Rho and Kathleen – bff’s 4 life.  Even if she did almost cut mine short.  But I digress.

So anywayz, we let by-gones be by-gones ages ago.  So I dunno what she’s goin on and on (and on) about. Besides, this is more important than real life, this is RHONY. I was shocked Kath & I didn’t see eye to eye on the current season. I’ll set it up: RHONY is a hot mess this season.  Aviva still strugglin ta be relevent.  That gerl needs help.  I’m sorry, youz know i don’t make fun of those workin with less than a full bucket of fries, but she is one bsc woman. Radzi remains my fave.  And Kath don’t like her at all!!!  I mean, is she sevius?  So’z to be fair, so’z you can hear both sides we’ll do this one interview style:

RHO:  so Kath, it’s been a long time since we done this.  So let’s re-introduce ourselves to readers, ok?

KATH:  sure.  Go on..  You first.

RHO:  oy, really Kath?  You coulda just started.  (Smdh).  So u all know me, my name is Rho and that’s all u gotta know.  Haha.  We started this blog cuz we couldn’t stand some cast members on RHONJ who will go unnamed.  We had a lot of laughs, made some funny comix but with the same plot line season after season Kath & I took a break.   You know the rest from there…. And here we are.

KATH: Rho, youz suppoze ta tell the peeps who u r?  Tell em….

RHO:  OK, u wanna make this like a frickin RHO reunion or some chit up in here.  I swear, Kath.  We might as well just fuhgetabotit

KATH:  no, no. I really want to do this.  I didn’t mean ta sound all mean gerlz.

RHO:  OK, well I’m a typical joisey girl, i love my fake tan and long nails and long blond hayeh.   Ok, so my hayah used ta be brown, but…  Anywayz…  I love to laff… I love life and mostly I love my fambly.  We gotz no drama in my fam, so there,   I met Kath when we wuz in second grade.  We been besties even since.  Her parents still live across the street from my parents and yes, they very good friends.

KATH:  so’z I’m Kathleen Paticia O’Br

RHO:  no last names.. U know, just for safety sake.

KATH:  ur right..  Ur right.  So like Rho said, we been besties since 2nd grade. We went through all the milestones together.  Communion, confirmation, marriage, etc.  Yeah, She makes me ,and sometimes cuz that’s just how life is.  But Rho is true blue.  No Betteh friend in the world.   Love u gerl.

RHO:  yeah…. Youz too…  But now i gotta go get dinneh ready.  So’z we gotta meet on my back porch after the boys go ta bed to do the real blog.  I mean if u ain’t gonna take this sevius.  Anywayz… I see u in a little bit ok!

KATH:  whatevs…

Pulling the Mask off A Very Ugly Person…… She Does It Herself

Well, as you know this summer, while on our way to a secret sources information regarding a “meet”, my bestest friend on the whole planet Kathleen through no fault of her own (eyeroll) stopped short and caused my neck to become injured.  All my gorg halter bikini’s – useless!  My tan line – oy!  But I digress.  I’ve forgiven Kathleen as any level headed person would do – and have put a call into Milania to take care of my light work (Obviously, this part is fantasy.  I’m sure our favorite little minx wouldn’t hurt a fly).

Now I know Kathleen HATES this weeks blog subject.  But she understands that news is news and sometimes you have to call people out on their own stupidity.  I mean, all the viewers know how the “storyline” thing works.  To insist that they don’t get storylines is an insult to her viewers and her 2 fans.

Now I promised Kathleen this would be the LAST blog on this escarole.  But you all know Rho.  My promises aren’t worth much and for sure if this silly thing does anything dumb, I’ll be sure to let you know.

For now, lets take a moment on this Holy day to enjoy the stupidity of the stupid……Thanks Jax.  Without you just dumb people would have trouble knowing how smart they are.

 

RHONJ-Season Five – Episode 1

No picutres, no comix.  Just Kathleen ( my bff) & I sharing our thoughts.

As you guys know. my name is Rho.  I’m a character but my comix and blogs reflect my real feelings about these people.  Just as these REAL people act out (poorly) the scripts Bravo provides for them.   So its half fact, half fiction – 100% italian.

 

RHO: I love that Antonia & Milania finally get their play date.  But I just don’t understand why Melissa can’t back off and let these kids have fun.  Milania put it perfectly, “this is starting to be annoying”.

KATH: Oh Rho, they know this isn’t authentic.  And for that little bitch tonot understand that the elder Gorga’s need ONE DATE for each of the girls recitals is just plain disgusting.

RHO: And Caroline! Oy! could she be any more annoying if she tried!!  I mean leave this poor family alone.

KATH:  Well that didn’t bother me as much as Coo-Coo-for-cocoa-puffs Jacqueline telling us how she puts the whole Gorga-Guidice situation on the same place on her list as bleaching her tushy-hole.   I mean, who cares!  Who is she anyway?  She’s a leftover.

RHO:  Oy Vey Izmir!  I never knew you felt so strongly about someone so weak.

KATH:  HAHAHA

RHO:  Now do you really think that Joe Gorga asked  Caroline to go and speak with Teresa?

KATH:  Oh give me a break.  Once again.  she’s a leftover.   She needs to stay on the show so the sons can show their stupid restaurant and somehow redeem themselves (from punta cana) and get their own show on Bravo.

RHO:  People forget that this show started as the MANZO show.  It has become quite definitely the Guidice-Gorga Show.  And I gotta say, as much as I dislike Melissa’s machinations and manipulations, I dislike the Manzo-Laurita clan even more.

KATH: Why?

RHO:  Cos I don’t see their purpose and all they seem to do is have something mean and biting to say.  Same with the other ones (The Wakiles).  They don’t further the plot or provide a subplot.  So pfft.  this could be a very dull season if they continually force the Manzo-Laurita-Wakile troika into the show.

So that’s how we saw it.  The after-show is even more pathetic.  Andy needs to give it up.  Teresa needs to keep shining.  And We PROMISE to have more comix as the season goes on.

 

Teresa Was Right, Kathy Wakile is a Peice of Garbage

Kathy writes her blogs dutifully each week.  Her agenda may be different from Melissa’s but Teresa’s name is a constant with both of them.  However, Kathy takes passive agressive to a whole new level.

In her October 9, 2012 blog “Apologizing to Tejresa” she writes “Now on a lighter note. I got so many tweets from so many people about my appearance. Thank you all so much for noticing! I take it as a compliment. Can’t even try to pull a fast one on our observant viewers these days (not that I even tried). Being upfront always works for me anyway. As I mentioned, the only permanent thing that I did was have the bump removed from my nose.”

Is she kidding? Thank you all for noticing? lol  One couldn’t help but notice.  The only permanent thing? hahaha.. No, you also lost your self-respect, your dignity and any semblense of filial piety. Oh and you must have lost your mind to think that anyone would buy a canoli kit.

Since she will hopefully be a faint memory or ‘friend” from now on, let’s say farewell and send her off with her very own comic.  If you think the paragraph referenced above was bad – let’s take a look at what she says a little further down in that same blog.  Good thing she called in “Apologizing to Teresa” or I would have never known her intent… (eyeroll)

 

Ok, with that done let’s kick her passive agressive ass to the curb and tell her to take her garbage with her.

Poor Ralph Macchio – Melissa Gorga Thinks They’re Cousins

Maybe July 16, 2012 was a slow news day.  Maybe Melissa sincerely thought they were cousins.  Who knows.  But this is just another example of her compulsive lying.  On July 16, 2012 Melissa tweets that Ralph Macchio is her cousin.  On July 21, 2012 Ralph denies they are relatives.

First she’s cousins with the guy who runs Lookers, the strip club she didn’t dance at (lol).  Now, she’s cousins with Ralph Macchio.   Well, let’s see what really happened…. RHOcomix style…

 

Just When You Thought The Manzo-Laurita Clan Couldn’t Be More Gross…

You just can’t make this level of famewhore up.  The day after Hurricane Sandy, the Manzo-Laurita  clan tweeted up a storm (pun intended) to announce their efforts on behalf of those effected by Sandy.

Well, after Lauren telling us about her warm pants (that you could buy at her store) and Jac telling us not to forget to wash out private parts (ick. I do NOT want that woman thinking about my private parts)during the storm, their post-storm damage control  efforts didn’t come as any surprise.

The annoyance factor was HIGH with the constant tweet/retweet on all of their twitter TL’s.  But at least people were being helped.

Alas, the truth comes to light!  RHOcomix is disappointed but not surprised to learn that Bravo was filming for Season 5.  But they didn’t film the Manzo-Laurita clan.  They filmed….. The GORGAS.  With their opportunity to film their largesse squandered, Lauren announced they were no longer collecting donations at her store.   hahahaha…. Like I said, you just can’t make this chit up….

Special Thanks to www.famewhorgas.wordpress.com for the twitter screen shots.

Amanda Noelle Ali Half-Sister to Melissa Gorga? – This is Too Good To Be True

OMG Is it possible?  Could life be this giving?  Could karma rear it’s head so quickly?  I’m giddy with excitment at the possibility that Melissa Gorga has a GORGEOUS younger half-sister.  Yeah, she’s a true beauty.  And guess what?  SHE SINGS!!!  Hopefully she will have more evidence of her hard work honing her talent than one video when she was 8.

If this is true and somehow she joins the show?  All I can say is.. Thank You Jesus.

Maybe www.famewhorgas.wordpress.com will hear my prayers and do some investigative work for our enjoyment?